


Epochal

by sansapollo



Series: missing puzzle piece [2]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Adoption, Alpha Jeong Yunho, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Omega Choi San, Panic Attacks, pregnancy talks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:41:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28907241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sansapollo/pseuds/sansapollo
Summary: Yunho and San realizes what was missing in their lives.
Relationships: Choi San/Jeong Yunho
Series: missing puzzle piece [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2120034
Comments: 2
Kudos: 47





	Epochal

**Author's Note:**

> I can't help myself and wrote this .-.  
> I know it is short but I have finals and I'm still trying to figure out how to hand this freaking assignment which is due 24 hours later-- I'm fucked up so bad..... whatever😬  
> oh btw I don't know the adoption procedure in S.K so I have kinda written it from what I learned in my classes(I'm an ELT major) so it is actually my country's standards lol  
> This isn't beta-read so apologize if there is any mistake!
> 
> A gentle reminder: It is okay if things don't work out for you. It is okay to feel vulnerable, upset. You are valid. Nothing is important than your health and your well-being. No matter what people say, a couple is still a family without any children as well as if you have children or adopt them. People talk and talk but you are the one who lives YOUR LIFE. Whatever you want in your life(having a child, adopting a child, living without a child, etc) is totally valid. 
> 
> A WARNING BEFORE YOU START:  
> IT CONTAINS PANIC ATTACKS SO READ IT AT YOUR OWN RISK!
> 
> kudos and comments(a writer needs encouragement 🥺👉🏽👈🏽) are appreciated! Hope you like it!!♡♡ <3

“I think you should sit down and chill for a minute.” Yunho motions his mate over their bed. His mate throws him a nasty glare.

“I am  _ chill.” _

Says the one who can’t stay still since the morning, Yunho thinks amusedly while watching the omega changing his dress shirt for the 6th time. He checks his watch, noticing it is nearly the time. He looks up at his mate, his eyes soften when the other shakes his head at his reflection and goes for another shirt in their closet. 

Yunho stops him though. “You are beautiful,” he compliments, taking a sniff of cherry pie scent with a hint of nervousness. He tilts his mate’s chin up, pecking him sweet and slow, silently telling him he is there beside him no matter what.

San swoons over his mate, wraps his arms around the alpha’s neck. They break apart and San asks for reassurance without any word. 

Yunho happily obliges him. 

“You will be the best father a child could have ever had.” He says, his hand goes up from his omega’s waist to his cheeks. 

“Maybe it won’t be all about rainbows and flowery paths but you have me.”

San beams at him, his heart skips a beat. Yunho always has this kind of effect on him, giving him butterflies and bursts of sunshine. He sighs, hugging the alpha, leaning his head on the sturdy chest. 

“Will we be okay?” He whispers, his hand tightening around the silky material, feeling a slight push on his head indicating that the alpha kisses his head. 

The alpha hums, swaying them from side to side for a few minutes. Yunho lets his mate get all the comfort he needs from him. He is so ready to provide for his omega. 

They tried and tried. However, no matter what they did, it just couldn’t work. They never know why it didn’t work out since doctors had said nothing was wrong with their biology. The tests they went in to check if both of them are fertile or not, the medicines San used for IVF, the injections Yunho did to him, the painful medicine history. Everything hurt but to no avail.

It just didn't work.

Yunho would lie if that wasn't the hardest two years in his whole life. He couldn’t forget the panic attacks San got, throwing everything he found at Yunho, yelling how useless he was as a mate, how much  _ broken  _ he was with fat tears dripping from his cheeks. It took everything in Yunho’s willpower to stay calm and not burst into the tears with his mate until  _ that night. _

  
  
  
  
  


It is another episode of San’s panic attacks. He jumps from his sleep with a heart-shattering scream, scaring the shit out of the sleeping Yunho. 

The alpha hugs him immediately, swings him as if he is a baby, shushing him. He pets the other’s head, his heart aching at every sob that leaves the smaller body. The omega wriggles his way out of the hug, standing up, pulling his hair from his head harshly.

“H-How could-” He hiccups, eyes looking everywhere but Yunho.

_ “I’m broken!”  _

Yunho gulps. No matter how many times he hears it, he can’t get used to it. He can’t get used to his mate- his pretty, smart, kind mate reducing himself into a useless human being. He stands up as well, walking around the bed, stopping a mere meter away from San.

“Sannie,” He starts, gulping the lump forming on his throat at the time San sobs brokenly. He looks so small in front of the alpha, wrapping his own arms around himself, his fat tears covering his red cheeks.

“You are okay. You are not broken.”

He takes a step ahead, testing the waters to see if san allows him to get closer. His hopes go south the moment San wails loudly, shaking his head like going mad. 

“I can’t bear your pups!” He claims. 

  
  


“It is better if I just  _ disappear _ !”

Yunho doesn't know what comes over him. Is it because of what San said? Or is it related to the fact that this is the last straw for Yunho?

“How could you be so sure it is  _ you? _ ” He asks with the calmest voice he has ever heard from himself.  _ Ah _ , he ponders. It seems he also has his own insecurities.

San stops at the accusation, his mouth opens but no sound escapes. A strange silence wraps them like a blanket. San stays against the wall, observing his alpha who has an unreadable expression. Yunho’s words ring in his mind, semi-clearing the fogginess. He can smell the rot sandalwood waving off from the alpha. He grimaces internally. His alpha is rarely upset or angry, giving this kind of scent off.

“Yunho-”

“Could it ever occur to you that me, your mate, also can be responsible for-” Yunho gulps, clenching his fists, trying to swallow another lump formed on his throat.

“Responsible for the fact that you can’t get pregnant?”

San sucks a deep breath, feeling as though Yunho just slapped him in the face. He has never deemed it likely. Hell, let alone presuming it, he has never thought about that. Yunho, sweet and cheerful Yunho who is good at everything he does, is the reason for a nonhappening pregnancy? The thought is so ridiculous that San is too sure everyone could laugh at this. 

Yet, in their shared bedroom, standing before him,  _ he sees Yunho. _ The boyfriend who pampers him with kisses, cuddles, and endless adoration, the mate who provides for him, the alpha who swears to protect him.

_ The man who is head over heels for him with his whole soul and heart. _

A broken, aching sound rips apart from the omega’s throat and the expression on Yunho’s face softens. His vision gets blurred slightly.

“Sometimes, I can’t help thinking maybe it is all my fault.” He continues before San objects. “I blame myself for this whole thing. I blame myself for you having panic attacks, for not giving you what you need, for not being a proper mate of you- Fuck.”

He laughs, humorless and dry, wiping his tears furiously. 

“Maybe it is my fault, maybe not.” 

He stares at San with an open expression, as broken as San, himself, is. 

“But we promised each other.” He reaches his hand out for San who takes his hand without a second thought. He pulls the omega into his chest, wrapping his arms around the smaller body. 

“We promised each other to be together in every milestone of the process.” Yunho kisses his head, relishing the fact that he calms San down along with his bottled up feelings.

“I’m sorry,” San mumbles into Yunho’s pajamas, taking a sniff and relaxing when he notices the sandalwood mixes with the ocean, the fresh scent of his alpha.

“I’m sorry too,” Yunho places his face into San’s neck, letting himself pampered with the sweet cherry pie scent. 

“I have been thinking about this for a while…” Yunho starts when they get back into the bed. 

“What do you think of adopting?”

He gets shiny eyes and a big dimpled smile for his answer.

  
  
  
  
  


Here they are, fourteen months since that night, sitting on their couch waiting impatiently for the kids whom they are prepared to love and care for. With every rock they bump in the way, Yunho is sure that San and he could handle it as long as they have each other.

Yunho chuckles at the way San jumps when they hear the doorbell. San glances at his way with a nervous expression, standing with Yunho to go and open the door. Yunho takes his hand, squeezes it for support, brushing a kiss on the omega’s temple before opening the door.

They are greeted by a fourteen-year-old holding hands with a five-year-old who clings into a kuma bear plushie. An employee from the adoption center stands behind them. Yunho hears San suck a deep breath next to him. He takes the initiative, crouching down before the kid.

“Hello,” He greets with a smile, watching the tentative child hiding behind her brother. 

They have met with the children before. Two siblings who endured the hard times just like the pair. Yunho can’t blame them for being so distant. 

San crouches next to him before Yunho dwells on his own thoughts more.

“Is that a kuma?” He asks softly, pointing to the bear the small girl holds tightly. He grins when he receives a small nod.

“I also have a kuma plushie.” He states, holding Yunho’s hand, showing his dimples to the child. “My mate bought it for me. Wanna see?” 

The girl comes out, hiding half of her face into the plushie, nodding. San stands up, taking the hand the little one expands to him. Yet, before he moves, the teenager blurts out an unexpected question.

“Why did you foster us?”

Yunho startles at the question, sharing a helpless look with his mate. Adoption is a hard process. Before adopting, they should foster the kids at least for one year by the law although Yunho is sure the siblings are what misses from their lives. 

“Well,” He smiles at the timid teenager. “Because there was something missing in our lives. And then,” he shoots a glance at San who nods his head with a smile, his hands on the kid’s shoulders.

“We realized what was missing.” He had the audacity to look sheepish, scratching his neck nervously.

“It was you and your sister.” San finishes for him. His eyes are on the teenager who is still standing in the doorway. He takes a step, holding his hand out to the teenager.

The boy looks at the hand. 

Yunho holds his breath, knowing how hard it is for a teenager to be adopted, thinking about how much he suffers to be placed from one house to another, the cast-off feeling he might feel at one point in his life.

Finally,  _ finally,  _ the boys take San’s hand. Yunho exhales, relaxing immediately, nodding off the employee who is walking away already.

San’s smile grows bigger, squeezing the teenager’s hand. 

“Do you also want to see my kuma bear with your sister?” He asks gently, relishing the way the teenager nods his head shyly. 

Yunho watches them going towards the bedroom after closing the door, beaming at the quiet laughs which, later, will become the constant sound of their  _ home _ .

**Author's Note:**

> Just imagine Yunho having a tea part with their baby girl and lets her put butterfly hair clips into his hair oh my god or san playing video games with their teenage son and smiles affectionately whenever his boy screams in victory 
> 
> JUST IMAGINE AND CRY WITH ME 😭😭
> 
> ı go and do some assignments now ._.


End file.
